Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Who Is Holding My Heart?

God has been dealing with me a lot this year about where my heart is. The issue started at the beginning of the year with the question of whether I should date or not. Then, when I started dating in late spring the question was, am I keeping God first in this relationship. Now, I do not even have the option of dating in the internship. In the beginning it bothered me, then it was ok, then it bothered me, now I am singing Praises to my Father in Heaven. I am discovering that I have had too many strings attached to this heart and I need to release it all and first start with my one and THE ONE true love, Christ. He is still asking me, "Do I have your heart?" I feel like I could say yes, but then I think of little compromises within my heart that I keep making to "feel comfortable", and the funny thing is I am only prolonging my own discomfort. I was told the longer that I hold on, the more that God will continue to strip from me, and I believe it. Not in a vengeful or hurtful way, but just as our earthly fathers take things from us to teach us discipline, God I feel will continue to pull things from my life to make sure that the only thing my heart is holding onto is Him. I was smoked by this quote today, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." Amen to that!

1 comment:

marybethg said...

you know what's funny? the same process that you are going through right now was started in MY life by that same quote. I'm so happy for you because great freedom and joy are coming your way. Love you girl! Hang in there.