Bam! Roasted...

This will seem a little vague so don't quote me on this.

Today a reliable source told me a quote/statistic they heard Billy Grahm had once said. (I know I am losing you already) Here is his shocking statistic: he believes about 80% of the people sitting in the pews at the church aren't even saved. Like truly, life changed, heart changed, born again.

Want to hear another shocker... to find out your in that 80%.
Bam! I'm roasted....

Goodnight world...
2 Corinthians 7:10 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorry brings death."

Square One

So, I feel as if I am back at square one. The only difference with this round is that I know where my hope comes from; its just trusting in that. So much has changed since my last post. I still have the same desires and aspirations as before, but I have allowed many road blocks into my life. These road blocks have now made quite an obstacle for me to get back to Christ. I know He still sees me through the haze, but I seem to keep His hand just out of reach.

"Tis better to have never tasted such fruit than to have tasted and died all over again..."

I will keep going though. Not for myself, but for Him, and for those who are yet to come. Christ has a story to tell through my life, but I must let him conquer it first. I know there are hopeless daughters of the King who could find hope through such a testimony: sexual abuse, abandonment, verbal abuse, neglect, alcoholism, drugs, etc. But all will be in vain if I do not begin to give God all the glory and learn that it is NOT about me.

"Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth... whom I created fro my glory" (Isiah 43:6-7)

In Closing

Sunday, May 17th, marked a huge milestone in my life. It was graduation day! One door has closed and now another has opened. At 22 years old I finally have a degree, and probably the best one I could ever have. Until next year that is! My first year of HPSM (Healing Place School of Ministry) has ended but I look forward to my second year! It will be full of new obstacles, friends, and memories! Cheers to the days to come!

Life Goes On

Hey Guys! So I'm back. It has been a little over a month since my last post, and this is really the first time that I have looked at my blog since. So much has happened, but yet if feels like nothing. I am taking drastic steps backwards, but they are causing me to move forward. Anyone confused yet? :)
This past holiday season I hit a bump (hill... mountain...) in the road. It stunk... still stinks... but it is probably one of the greatest things life (my flesh... the enemy...) could have thrown at me. I have done nothing but (mostly) grow from this situation.
In my past I would do nothing but run when I would hit a bump (hill...mountain...) in the road; this time I refused (still refusing) to run. First and foremost I am not running because I would be miserable my whole life knowing that I am not doing the will of the Father. Secondly I am not running because I have finally gotten a grasp on the Father's love and forgiveness. In the past I would just allow myself to feed into all the lies of always being a screw up, worthless, etc., but this time I decided to believe in what God thinks of me. (Trust me those thoughts still crept in and continue to creep in every now and then though.)
I have decided to use my mistake as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. I will take what the enemy wanted for his destruction and use it for God's glory because I am going to press through. (and for any confusion: I am not saying that messing up is OK, but don't let it tie you down. We allow ourselves to fall, but then we must allow the Holy Spirit to pick us back up... I am facing consequences for my actions, but I am learning to embrace them and learn from them.)
I feel like I am losing so much because of this, but here is where God's love, mercy, and discipline are coming into play... "Michelle, I am taking everything from you so that you have nothing to define you but me."-God
-Praise Him!

Who Is Holding My Heart?

God has been dealing with me a lot this year about where my heart is. The issue started at the beginning of the year with the question of whether I should date or not. Then, when I started dating in late spring the question was, am I keeping God first in this relationship. Now, I do not even have the option of dating in the internship. In the beginning it bothered me, then it was ok, then it bothered me, now I am singing Praises to my Father in Heaven. I am discovering that I have had too many strings attached to this heart and I need to release it all and first start with my one and THE ONE true love, Christ. He is still asking me, "Do I have your heart?" I feel like I could say yes, but then I think of little compromises within my heart that I keep making to "feel comfortable", and the funny thing is I am only prolonging my own discomfort. I was told the longer that I hold on, the more that God will continue to strip from me, and I believe it. Not in a vengeful or hurtful way, but just as our earthly fathers take things from us to teach us discipline, God I feel will continue to pull things from my life to make sure that the only thing my heart is holding onto is Him. I was smoked by this quote today, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." Amen to that!

I am so greatful!

For those of you who do not know I am currently enrolled in Healing Place School of Ministry (HPSM). That is huge! This time last year I was considering getting involved with the church and now I am part of one of the greatest churches I know! I am at awe with what God is doing in my life. This week alone has been awesome! Here is a picture of all us interns shopping at KB Toys in Gonzales for an outreach. (Thank You guys so much @ KB Toys for being a part of something so much BIGGER!) We bought toys for kids whose mothers are in prison. It was so much fun!

And here I am. Playing with the toys! I hope the kids have as much fun as I did! I hope I get to see their faces when they open them!! I know that there is a huge outreach at the BRDC Sat, Dec 20th @ 10 am (little plug there :] ) But I don't know if that is when the gift thing goes down...

It is so much fun to serve and get involved. I am the happiest I have ever been, and that is almost ironic in some ways. I am the most broke and most in debt I have ever been, but yet I am the richest. I have no future security in the world's eyes because I have no clue what is going to happen to me once I graduate this year, but yet I have the greatest security ever because I now rest in the hands of the ALL MIGHTY!

God has blessed me beyond measure. I came from the pit. Covered in filth and rags. I can now stand with courage, dignity, and security because I have been bestowed the power and authority of my Father in Heaven! Praise Him!

Thanksgiving Festivities

Well, the Thanksgiving Holiday is over, but I pray the spirit of it stays. I love the Holidays. Overall people SEEM to be more joyful. It shouldn't take a Holiday though. We, myself included, should remember year round all the things we are EXTREMELY blessed to have....
On another note; This Thanksgiving was the best yet for me. This past Saturday HPC (Healing Place Church) had one of their Thanksgiving Outreaches, and I was able to be involved. Everything went smoothly thanks to Kelly, all staff at the DC (Dream Center), and ALL the volunteers. Thanks everyone who was involved in ANY way. Many homes were blessed that day with a Thanksgiving Dinner Kit which included: Ham, yams, stuffing, gravy, etc.
Also, many of you probably do not know that there had been unspoken conflict between my Father and I. It was more on my end. Different things had been said to me as a child; not meant to hurt me, but that is how I received it. Because of these misconstrued thoughts and ideas and feeding into different lies my flesh, mind, and past boyfriend told me I began to resent my Father for certain things and harbor bitterness towards him. But, Praise God, I was able to come to terms with myself and confront my Father with an issue that had been eating at me for YEARS! I cried, he cried, we hugged. It was awesome!
So this Thanksgiving was filled with Love, Giving, Peace, and Restoration! I Praise my Abba Father for all the good things He is allowing to happen in my life....