Who Is Holding My Heart?

God has been dealing with me a lot this year about where my heart is. The issue started at the beginning of the year with the question of whether I should date or not. Then, when I started dating in late spring the question was, am I keeping God first in this relationship. Now, I do not even have the option of dating in the internship. In the beginning it bothered me, then it was ok, then it bothered me, now I am singing Praises to my Father in Heaven. I am discovering that I have had too many strings attached to this heart and I need to release it all and first start with my one and THE ONE true love, Christ. He is still asking me, "Do I have your heart?" I feel like I could say yes, but then I think of little compromises within my heart that I keep making to "feel comfortable", and the funny thing is I am only prolonging my own discomfort. I was told the longer that I hold on, the more that God will continue to strip from me, and I believe it. Not in a vengeful or hurtful way, but just as our earthly fathers take things from us to teach us discipline, God I feel will continue to pull things from my life to make sure that the only thing my heart is holding onto is Him. I was smoked by this quote today, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." Amen to that!

I am so greatful!

For those of you who do not know I am currently enrolled in Healing Place School of Ministry (HPSM). That is huge! This time last year I was considering getting involved with the church and now I am part of one of the greatest churches I know! I am at awe with what God is doing in my life. This week alone has been awesome! Here is a picture of all us interns shopping at KB Toys in Gonzales for an outreach. (Thank You guys so much @ KB Toys for being a part of something so much BIGGER!) We bought toys for kids whose mothers are in prison. It was so much fun!

And here I am. Playing with the toys! I hope the kids have as much fun as I did! I hope I get to see their faces when they open them!! I know that there is a huge outreach at the BRDC Sat, Dec 20th @ 10 am (little plug there :] ) But I don't know if that is when the gift thing goes down...

It is so much fun to serve and get involved. I am the happiest I have ever been, and that is almost ironic in some ways. I am the most broke and most in debt I have ever been, but yet I am the richest. I have no future security in the world's eyes because I have no clue what is going to happen to me once I graduate this year, but yet I have the greatest security ever because I now rest in the hands of the ALL MIGHTY!

God has blessed me beyond measure. I came from the pit. Covered in filth and rags. I can now stand with courage, dignity, and security because I have been bestowed the power and authority of my Father in Heaven! Praise Him!