Existing is my Essence

Who Am I

2010-09-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Before man can fully understand what he is capable of, he must first understand his design. When someone thinks of God, what are his first thoughts? God is love, He is patient, He is kind, He listens, He speaks, and the list goes on and on. Not to say that man is in any way comparable to God, but He has given all of mankind a perfect design in which to connect or fellowship with Him. Man's design is his foundational basis.

The Breakdown: We were given each a mouth to speak with. This was not given to us for our own benifit, but for the benifit of others. We are to use this mouth speak out for those who can not speak up for themselves. We are to encourage those who are down and depresseed. We speak out against injustice. Speak words of affirmation to those we love. We are to give praises to one another. To use our mouth for anything but is a missuse of a great gift that many go without.

We are given eyes to see, as God sees. Not the physical, but what could be. Stop looking at a person's shell, but use your eyes to look into their's and see their soul. See the beauty within.

We are given hands to be a strength for the weak. Arms to embrace the poor or forgotten.

Finally, we are given ears to hear. You always hear the saying "you have two ears to hear and one mouth to speak, so you should listen twice as much as you speak." This is so true. How can we speak for the unspeakable if we do not first listen. How can we see if we do not turn to them when they call. How can we be there hand for strength if we do not first hear their weakness. And how can we embrace them if we too have forgotten how to listen.

So who are you... you are the voice, the hand, the arm, the movement, the tool, for someone who needs you. You are their difference.

"Be The Change"

Less Is More

2010-09-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

In life we hear different quotes, scripture, opinions, etc. In that first moment that we hear them they may make an impact on our lives, or they may just be another piece of trivial information we tuck away for later. Last night I read over a scripture that until now had just been a trivial piece of information, but now I feel is illuminating a deeper understanding to not just mind but heart as well.

"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30

I always knew what this meant, but knowing something and believing something for your own life are two completely different things.

Once Christ enters your life you must become less and He must become more. I/you/we must allow God's desires to become our desires instead of the other way around! I believe that so many times once we accept Christ we view it as having him on "our" side now, so He will help fulfill all of "our" desires and dreams. Well here is a thought. Until Christ stepped into your life you were in sin nature, and sin nature alone. Your mindset was that of your flesh and sin nature, which means your mind, thought, and desire is based around them. Not to say that God has not been influencing your life, because He had to of been pulling on your heart strings for you to accept Him as Lord and Saviour, but His plan always has more. Now, your mind is being renewed into that which God has destined for you. Again, not to say that your life has not been unknowingly guided by God up to this point, but His will is always more in some way. It's time to hand the reigns over COMPLETELY and to stop being afraid of where he might take you; because I can promise you it will be greater than anything you could have EVER imagined.

Keep It Simple

2010-05-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

In the beginning, when the world was made God was pleased and longed to share this beauty
He had created. He wanted to share this great scenary with mankind, and to have them glorify Him in return for such an amazing gift. So many issues and ideas in today's world can be turned into something extremely complex. The creation of man can sound so elaborate when looked at as a Theological Doctrine, but God's intentions were so simple. In the beginning God created man in His image for His eternal glory.

Acts 2:42 "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer."

Fellowship. Relationship. This is what we were created for. This is what The Church was founded on. Let us get back to that place.

My Top Love Languages

2010-04-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	12
Receiving Gifts:	6
Words of Affirmation:	6
Quality Time:	4
Acts of Service:	2

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Time To Raise The Bar

2010-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Statistically the Church is viewed as being in explosive growth, but only four percent of this generation claims the name of Christ. The Church has always been viewed as a place of redemption and sanctification, but in today’s media its boundaries and standards have been jaded and skewed. Has society done this, or has the body of the church brought it upon itself?
The walls of the church are still viewed as refuge to the weak, but has our definition of the weak changed? At one time the body of the church rallied around the lost, the forgotten, and the hurting and brought them the truth and strength through the revelation of the Holy Spirit. Now, the body of the Church is hiding behind the safety of its own walls from the persecution of the world. Many believers have gone from proactive to immobile.
On page fourteen of An Unstoppable Force Erwin McManus writes, “We [the church] have chose standardization over uniqueness. We have chosen predictability over surprise. And without realizing it, to our own regret, we have chosen comfort and convenience over servanthood and sacrifice.” Some churches defy this norm, such as Healing Place Church, but what about the other 699 million members of the protestant belief, 1.2 billion Catholics, and the 77 million Anglicanism believers? (Wikipedia) Protestant churches are full of revivals and the Holy Ghost, but all they seem to do is “keep the holy, holy.” Then the Catholics are all about God’s forgiveness. If they are able to give one true message it would be that God covers all, but they portray very little of the sanctification the body of the Church should have for itself. God’s sanctity is all we need, true, but God calls us to live with sanctified bodies.
As God’s chosen people Christians are called to be set apart. They are not called to be set apart with just their “title” as a Christian, but also in all ways of living. God calls believers to be set apart not to hinder them but with hopes of, “…attaining yet greater perfection in living this life.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1 Amplified) In Thessalonians 4:1-8 God has specifically called follower of Christ to live a sanctified life; one pleasing to God and viewed by man.
Finally, we have the 77 million Anglicanism believers, whom I have never heard of so there is obviously not much global effect here. From what I understood about them on Wickipedia I would safely assume that they are another group, much like the Catholics, that is caught up in its traditions and much like the Protestant keeping the holy, holy. Again, this is an assumption, but I feel that we as the Church should be so bold in our faith that there would not be room for supposition.
Many great Christians are doing great things, but the majority of the Christian population fails to even present Christ-like character six days of the week. I am not trying to harp on anyone because I know for myself that much work needs to be done, but what will it take for us to awaken ourselves to this situation? The first step is accepting the problem, now it’s time to fix it.
(Some of these numbers may be dated due to the fact that research for this was done months ago)

A Life Making Lemonade

2010-03-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

I would like everyone to know that God is good! No matter what you have done, where you have been, how many times you have "back slid", or where you currently are; God is good and He loves you.

Life has been crazy for me since forever. I grew up in church, had many years of "making a testimony", found church again, played church for almost two years, and now I am finally grasping the love and power of God. I am finally being radically restored and made too and it feels amazing! I am 23 and I am only 23. I thank God that He caught me so young. But no matter your age or time in your "race of life" God can still turn things around.

Remember the story of Zacchaeus the tax collector? (Luke 19) How does the song go... "...a little old man was he..." It wasn't his age that mattered, but his heart. His exterior may have been hard and old, but his heart was looking for something new and fresh. Be a new heart for Jesus!

Root Exchange

2009-12-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

God is so good... I could stop with that statement, but I feel I must express how He has been so good in my life. He saved me. He has saved me from myself, from the lies, and from Hell. With the last blog I wrote I almost felt damned, but it was a sobering effect. I finally, praise God, had someone honest with me about my life. Things I knew but didn't want to hear or accept, which is why I was beginning to slowly drink and party my life away again.

It is possible to accept God, but not truly know God. Like the quote stated in the previous blog; look at possibly 80% of the people you know who claim to know the Lord. We know of Him, but do we truly know Him. I don't; and have never really tried till recently. I'm still failing for the most part, but praise God He has begun a hunger in me to know Him more.

So, long story short. On December 12, 2009, I asked God to become a part of my life; no longer just the temporary bandaid that helped cover some of the pain. Praise God for His mercy!

Bam! Roasted...

2009-12-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

This will seem a little vague so don't quote me on this.

Today a reliable source told me a quote/statistic they heard Billy Grahm had once said. (I know I am losing you already) Here is his shocking statistic: he believes about 80% of the people sitting in the pews at the church aren't even saved. Like truly, life changed, heart changed, born again.

Want to hear another shocker... to find out your in that 80%.
Bam! I'm roasted....

Goodnight world...
2 Corinthians 7:10 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorry brings death."

Square One

2009-12-09T20:27:00.000-08:00

So, I feel as if I am back at square one. The only difference with this round is that I know where my hope comes from; its just trusting in that. So much has changed since my last post. I still have the same desires and aspirations as before, but I have allowed many road blocks into my life. These road blocks have now made quite an obstacle for me to get back to Christ. I know He still sees me through the haze, but I seem to keep His hand just out of reach.

"Tis better to have never tasted such fruit than to have tasted and died all over again..."

I will keep going though. Not for myself, but for Him, and for those who are yet to come. Christ has a story to tell through my life, but I must let him conquer it first. I know there are hopeless daughters of the King who could find hope through such a testimony: sexual abuse, abandonment, verbal abuse, neglect, alcoholism, drugs, etc. But all will be in vain if I do not begin to give God all the glory and learn that it is NOT about me.

"Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth... whom I created fro my glory" (Isiah 43:6-7)

In Closing

2009-05-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

Sunday, May 17th, marked a huge milestone in my life. It was graduation day! One door has closed and now another has opened. At 22 years old I finally have a degree, and probably the best one I could ever have. Until next year that is! My first year of HPSM (Healing Place School of Ministry) has ended but I look forward to my second year! It will be full of new obstacles, friends, and memories! Cheers to the days to come!

Life Goes On

2009-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! So I'm back. It has been a little over a month since my last post, and this is really the first time that I have looked at my blog since. So much has happened, but yet if feels like nothing. I am taking drastic steps backwards, but they are causing me to move forward. Anyone confused yet? :)
This past holiday season I hit a bump (hill... mountain...) in the road. It stunk... still stinks... but it is probably one of the greatest things life (my flesh... the enemy...) could have thrown at me. I have done nothing but (mostly) grow from this situation.
In my past I would do nothing but run when I would hit a bump (hill...mountain...) in the road; this time I refused (still refusing) to run. First and foremost I am not running because I would be miserable my whole life knowing that I am not doing the will of the Father. Secondly I am not running because I have finally gotten a grasp on the Father's love and forgiveness. In the past I would just allow myself to feed into all the lies of always being a screw up, worthless, etc., but this time I decided to believe in what God thinks of me. (Trust me those thoughts still crept in and continue to creep in every now and then though.)
I have decided to use my mistake as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. I will take what the enemy wanted for his destruction and use it for God's glory because I am going to press through. (and for any confusion: I am not saying that messing up is OK, but don't let it tie you down. We allow ourselves to fall, but then we must allow the Holy Spirit to pick us back up... I am facing consequences for my actions, but I am learning to embrace them and learn from them.)
I feel like I am losing so much because of this, but here is where God's love, mercy, and discipline are coming into play... "Michelle, I am taking everything from you so that you have nothing to define you but me."-God
-Praise Him!

Who Is Holding My Heart?

2008-12-17T12:46:00.000-08:00

God has been dealing with me a lot this year about where my heart is. The issue started at the beginning of the year with the question of whether I should date or not. Then, when I started dating in late spring the question was, am I keeping God first in this relationship. Now, I do not even have the option of dating in the internship. In the beginning it bothered me, then it was ok, then it bothered me, now I am singing Praises to my Father in Heaven. I am discovering that I have had too many strings attached to this heart and I need to release it all and first start with my one and THE ONE true love, Christ. He is still asking me, "Do I have your heart?" I feel like I could say yes, but then I think of little compromises within my heart that I keep making to "feel comfortable", and the funny thing is I am only prolonging my own discomfort. I was told the longer that I hold on, the more that God will continue to strip from me, and I believe it. Not in a vengeful or hurtful way, but just as our earthly fathers take things from us to teach us discipline, God I feel will continue to pull things from my life to make sure that the only thing my heart is holding onto is Him. I was smoked by this quote today, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." Amen to that!

I am so greatful!

2008-12-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

For those of you who do not know I am currently enrolled in Healing Place School of Ministry (HPSM). That is huge! This time last year I was considering getting involved with the church and now I am part of one of the greatest churches I know! I am at awe with what God is doing in my life. This week alone has been awesome! Here is a picture of all us interns shopping at KB Toys in Gonzales for an outreach. (Thank You guys so much @ KB Toys for being a part of something so much BIGGER!) We bought toys for kids whose mothers are in prison. It was so much fun!

And here I am. Playing with the toys! I hope the kids have as much fun as I did! I hope I get to see their faces when they open them!! I know that there is a huge outreach at the BRDC Sat, Dec 20th @ 10 am (little plug there :] ) But I don't know if that is when the gift thing goes down...

It is so much fun to serve and get involved. I am the happiest I have ever been, and that is almost ironic in some ways. I am the most broke and most in debt I have ever been, but yet I am the richest. I have no future security in the world's eyes because I have no clue what is going to happen to me once I graduate this year, but yet I have the greatest security ever because I now rest in the hands of the ALL MIGHTY!

God has blessed me beyond measure. I came from the pit. Covered in filth and rags. I can now stand with courage, dignity, and security because I have been bestowed the power and authority of my Father in Heaven! Praise Him!

Thanksgiving Festivities

2008-11-29T22:14:00.000-08:00

Well, the Thanksgiving Holiday is over, but I pray the spirit of it stays. I love the Holidays. Overall people SEEM to be more joyful. It shouldn't take a Holiday though. We, myself included, should remember year round all the things we are EXTREMELY blessed to have....
On another note; This Thanksgiving was the best yet for me. This past Saturday HPC (Healing Place Church) had one of their Thanksgiving Outreaches, and I was able to be involved. Everything went smoothly thanks to Kelly, all staff at the DC (Dream Center), and ALL the volunteers. Thanks everyone who was involved in ANY way. Many homes were blessed that day with a Thanksgiving Dinner Kit which included: Ham, yams, stuffing, gravy, etc.
Also, many of you probably do not know that there had been unspoken conflict between my Father and I. It was more on my end. Different things had been said to me as a child; not meant to hurt me, but that is how I received it. Because of these misconstrued thoughts and ideas and feeding into different lies my flesh, mind, and past boyfriend told me I began to resent my Father for certain things and harbor bitterness towards him. But, Praise God, I was able to come to terms with myself and confront my Father with an issue that had been eating at me for YEARS! I cried, he cried, we hugged. It was awesome!
So this Thanksgiving was filled with Love, Giving, Peace, and Restoration! I Praise my Abba Father for all the good things He is allowing to happen in my life....

2008-11-20T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! Welcome to my blog. So, I thought it was time I shared with all of you a little glimpse of my world. Things have changed extensively in the past few months. It is awesome! God is doing amazing things. I can not wait to share and get your feed back!

My first announcement is a little shoutout to this weekends outreach @ the BRDC (Baton Rouge Dream Center. It is Saturday from 10-2. We will be going out into the community and blessing familys with a Thanksgiving Dinner Kit. It will be filled with all the essentials! Come be a part! Be blessed by being a blessing. You will put a smile on God's face! :)

Love Yawl!

First Thought

2008-11-06T22:01:00.000-08:00

Ok... so this was supposed to be my first Blog, but I hesitated....

Hi Guys! So this is my first blog. I am pretty excited. A site where people come to hear all of the randomness that comes from my heart, soul, and mind.

To begin I guess I will explain my title. Existing is my Essence. There are so many explanations to how this fits my life I almost don't know where to begin. So I will just begin.

For so many years I have failed to Exist. Not wanting wanting to be here. I walked through the halls of life with that Walmart smiley face plastered on wishing things would just fade away. I fought depression for many years. I would struggle with thoughts of suicide. Death was more of an amusing thought than scary. Then I found hope. Hope in Christ. Hope in a SAVIOR. I know to some non-believers this may sound so cliche, but its so true. I found purpose. I found a reason to exist. I found WHY I exist. I exist today because there is a God who loves me, created this earth for me, longs to share His glory, and has an exponential plan prepared for me that I may never be able to comprehend. I now EXIST. I no longer just roam, I walk with a purpose and a determination in my stride. I am now here to exist, to lead, to speak life, and truth into the hearts of those who are in that same position I was in not so long ago.

Now I am not here to say that once you find this new, glorious life, things get easy, but now there is meaning behind the things I do. I know that there is a greater purpose and meaning behind it other than my own glorification and satisfaction. I am blessing my Abba Father in return for all his glorious wonder that he has so freely displayed in my life.... more to come on why... :)